Kids Say The Darndest Things
by TopazTheDragon
Summary: It's the newest sensation on the surface: a talk show that bears a striking resemblance to one from Earth you might be familiar with. Oneshot. R&R, and please do the same to my Stormy Skies story.


Horwell: Hello and welcome to Kids Say The Darndest Things! I'm your host, Professor Horwell. Without further ado, let's introduce today's contestants!

* * *

*the curtain lifts to reveal an eight year old boy and a four year old girl sitting calmly on chairs, while a set of seven year old twins dart around playing tag*

Pipit(in the studio audience): *facepalm*

Karane(in the studio audience): Get your behinds on those chairs, or no dessert!

*the twins sit down*

* * *

Horwell: ...We've got a treat for you today, folks! Not only are these the first children to be born in our new land, but two of them are lucky enough to have the Goddess' two chosen ones as parents! So let's get started!

* * *

Horwell: You look like a wise bunch. So prove it to me! Share some advice, can be about anything!

Estelle: When your dad is mad at you and asks if he looks stupid, don't answer him!

Raiden: Never hold a vacuum cleaner and a remlit at the same time!

Fletcher: Never let your little sister guard your soda, she will feed it to your dad's loftwing and your dad's loftwing will throw up all over the carpet!

Kestrel: When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair!

* * *

Horwell: We all know grandparents are awesome. What's your favorite thing about your grandparents?

Estelle: One time Grandma burned dinner on accident, so we had ice cream instead!

Raiden: Dad says Grandma has a dust bunny farm in her house. Those dust bunnies must be pretty good at hiding, because I never see them. Lots of dust though.

Fletcher: Grandpa tells the best stories. My favorite is the one about the turtle that beat the rabbit in a race, I didn't see that one coming.

Kestrel: Sometimes though, Grandpa falls asleep in the middle of a story! And he snores. Loudly.

* * *

Horwell: What do you think your parents were like when they were your age?

Estelle: Grandma always tells stories about Dad. But she's old and old people don't always know what they're talking about, so I wouldn't believe any of them.

Raiden: Mom says she used to make mudpies. But me and Estelle tried making some one time, and you know how raw cookie dough tastes so good? Raw mudpie dough tastes horrible! Mom and Dad won't let us bake the mudpies. I don't know why...

Fletcher: Mom used to have to wake Dad up in the morning because he slept in long enough to miss breakfast, and that still happens sometimes!

Kestrel: Yeah, Mom and Dad have been that way forever. They probably got married when they were like five or six.

* * *

Horwell: What do your parents have in common?

Estelle: Both don't want any more kids!

Raiden: I second that. Also, they're both always telling Grandma to clean her house. But if she does that, the dust bunnies will have nowhere to live...

Fletcher: They both have blond hair, only Dad's is darker. Mom always says he's a dirty blond in more ways than one, then laughs. I don't see what's so funny.

Kestrel: They both won't let me use Dad's slingshot. It's my brother's fault, he shot all the windows...but why punish both of us? Not fair!

* * *

Horwell: That's all the questions we have, but I have a feeling the parents would like to add their two rupees.

* * *

Horwell: Fletcher and Kestrel were the only ones not causing trouble at the beginning of the show...any comments on that?

Link: I honestly have no idea why they weren't running around too! They're usually just as onery as the twins!

Zelda: Nah. They have their moments, but they're pretty obedient.

Link: To you they are...they always seem to think up the wildest stunts when you're gone. Remember when you were out getting groceries and Fletcher shot the windows out?

Zelda: If you were watching him instead of sitting on the couch eating chips, it wouldn't have happened, you know.

Link: ...No comment...

* * *

Horwell: What's the deal with Raiden and Estelle's grandmother? Dust bunny farm? Ice cream for dinner?

Karane: I have no idea. I didn't believe Pipit at first when he told me how dusty his mom's house is...as for the ice cream, let's just say she doesn't babysit much anymore.

Pipit: Apparently the food was burnt to a crisp, and smoke was everywhere. But seriously? Hasn't she ever heard of sandwiches? I swear that woman is losing her mind!

* * *

Horwell: Anything else?

Link: I can't believe my daughter thinks I got married when I was five or six.

Zelda: We've known each other since then, but yeah...where did that come from?

Pipit: It's true. We don't want any more kids. Between them and my mom, I'm willing to bet I'll have a whole head of gray hairs before I'm forty.

Karane: That's actually not that big of an exaggeration...

* * *

Horwell: That's all the time we have for today. Join us next time on Kids Say The Darndest Things!


End file.
